Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
- George Burns
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It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together.
- Courteney Cox
I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.
- Carl Hiaasen
I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.
- Shaquille O'Neal
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
- Don Marquis
That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
- Joe Rogan
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.
- Craig Bruce
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?
- Andy Warhol
There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity.
- Kristen Wiig