Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
- H. G. Wells
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When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
- Richard Lewis
Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.
- Gabrielle Reece
I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.
- Megan Fox
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
- Lucille Ball
The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.
- Jonah Hill
I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
- Don Rickles
Most of my ideas just come out funny.
- Tim Heidecker
It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.
- Tom Petty