Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.
- Jeff Ross
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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
- Zach Galifianakis
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller
If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.
- Ron Livingston
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
- James Thurber
I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.
- Rob Corddry
The Islam of the 18th, 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion.
- John Keegan
Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
- Johnny Vegas
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
- Paul Lynde