Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid.
- Jim Lehrer
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
- Billy Connolly
I just couldn't go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland's suicide. I didn't see how we could make the show light and funny any more.
- Judd Nelson
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright
'Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are, or respond to them as provocation, then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.
- Michael Haneke
It's funny, having the same name as someone. Me, Emma Watson and Emma Stone, the amount of times I've been called Emma Watson or Emma Stone is so funny. It's just 'cause we're all named Emma. None of us look alike.
- Emma Roberts
I'm one of those hovering mothers and I know it's really important to have an independent child, so I'm trying to back off, but it's hard. I love him so much, and he's so funny and cute to me.
- Selma Blair
I like children - fried.
- W. C. Fields
I don't think I'm funny.
- Liam Neeson