If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers
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When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.
- Mo Rocca
It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.
- Reba McEntire
It's funny because 'The Book of Mormon' is 'The Book of Mormon' now. When I was doing it at the very beginning, and I was a part of it for four years and always believed in it, I never really knew if it was going to be more than a convention for 'South Park' fans.
- Josh Gad
We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.
- Ethan Hawke
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
- Jerry Seinfeld
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov
It's a funny thing because you look at the careers of other filmmakers, and you see them sort of slow down, and you realize, maybe this becomes harder to do as you get older. That's sort of a cautionary thing. I hope it doesn't happen to me.
- Joel Coen
I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.
- Seann William Scott