I just couldn't go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland's suicide. I didn't see how we could make the show light and funny any more.
- Judd Nelson
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Mitch Hedberg
For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
- James Herriot
My father would take me to the playground and put me on mood swings.
- Jay London
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
- Dane Cook
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
- James Brown
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.
- Jeff Ross
Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.
- Marlon Wayans
I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.
- Gertrude Stein