The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren't. And the songs that are probably are the ones they wouldn't think... so that's where it kind of is funny.
- LeAnn Rimes
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
- Louis C. K.
I was not particularly bright, I wasn't very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid.
- Uma Thurman
It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
- Denis Leary
I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.
- Anthony Anderson
It's funny that it all becomes about clothes. It's bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it's all about your dress. You can't get away from it.
- Reese Witherspoon