You see much more of your children once they leave home.
- Lucille Ball
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
- Robert Benchley
When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group.
- Shirin Ebadi
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
- Mel Brooks
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
- David Sedaris
Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.
- Susan Sontag
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.
- Richard Russo
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
- Logan P. Smith
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.
- Demetri Martin