Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
- Quentin Crisp
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I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips.
- R. L. Stine
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler
Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.
- Justin Bieber
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
- Josh Billings
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
- Stephen King
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
- Lewis Mumford
Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.
- Matt Groening
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller