Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- Robin Williams
Read this quote in:
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley
It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.
- Gary Oldman
This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been happy there. I never went into the boss's office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, 'Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!'
- Jane Pauley
I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
- Heath Ledger
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
- Steven Wright
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
- Jay Leno
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.
- Fanny Brice
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
- Will Rogers