If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
- Robin Williams
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That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
- Joe Rogan
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope
There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'
- Lena Dunham
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
- Paul Lynde
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen
Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't.
- Chris Pratt
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle