I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
- Ron White
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You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
- Steve Irwin
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
- Josh Billings
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
- Janeane Garofalo
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.
- Jeff Ross
I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.
- Vera Farmiga
I don't just try to be funny.
- Bil Keane
The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
- Ezra Miller
Be obscure clearly.
- E. B. White