I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson
It is funny what a year can do.
- Victor Cruz
There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'
- Lena Dunham
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.
- Craig Bruce
I don't just try to be funny.
- Bil Keane
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
- Seann William Scott
When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
- Zach Galifianakis
If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage it's funny to see what happens.
- Daryl Hall