When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.
- Scott Thompson
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I'm always in situations where you can't be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway.
- Tim Heidecker
In a funny way poems are suited to modern life. They're short they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines and a poem takes less time than an article.
- Caroline Kennedy
It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.
- Bryan Cranston
If at first you don't succeed blame your parents.
- Marcelene Cox
There's always something funny about men chasing women.
- David Spade
It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me.
- Rick Baker
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.
- Jeff Ross
Very often, I don't make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises.
- David Ogden Stiers