Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Steven Wright
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I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.
- Anthony Anderson
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
- Robert Byrne
For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.
- George A. Romero
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
- Stephen King
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler
We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
- David Walliams
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
- Mitch Hedberg
The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as 'Bad Teacher.'
- Chris Pratt