If I had to live my life again I'd make the same mistakes only sooner.
- Tallulah Bankhead
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I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.
- Karl Lagerfeld
For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere.
- Kevin James
I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.
- Ridley Scott
I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.
- Margaret Cho
I rant, therefore I am.
- Dennis Miller
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
- Paula Deen
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
- Logan P. Smith
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
- Samuel Butler